When you observe that a group has become stuck or frozen and you're experiencing strong emotions yourself, share what you're feeling and ask if others recognize it. This creates permission for the group to acknowledge what's actually happening rather than pretending everything is fine. The key is to share your feelings without imposing your judgment about what caused them.
Example
After a CTO slow-clapped during a vulnerable moment in an event storming session and walked out, the facilitators felt overwhelmed and the group stood in silence looking to them for guidance. Rather than pretending everything was fine or immediately trying to fix it, the facilitators shared their own feelings of unsafety and defensiveness, admitted they didn't have an immediate answer, and asked the group what they wanted to do. This honesty created enough safety for the group to decide to continue and actually start sharing their own experiences.
Context
This works particularly well after taking a break, which gives you time to move from raw emotional reaction to calmer reflection. The goal isn't to lead the group toward your interpretation of events, but to create permission for people to acknowledge shared experience. Simply asking "does anyone recognize this?" can create bonds within the group without requiring people to fully agree with your perspective.
When This Might Not Apply
If the group is still in acute crisis (someone just had a harmful interaction), making explicit feelings immediately might add noise rather than clarity—a brief pause for grounding may be better. In highly formal or hierarchical settings where vulnerability from the facilitator is seen as weakness, this approach may backfire; consider whether a simpler statement of observation ("I notice the energy has shifted") works better first.
Variations
- After a break: Share feelings in a more composed way, as Evelyn demonstrated—this feels less reactive and more grounded
- With a co-facilitator: Have your co-facilitator share their feelings too, which distributes vulnerability and strengthens safety
- In sense-making exercises: Frame the explicit feelings as the starting point for the exercise itself ("What I'm experiencing right now is…"), making it part of the activity rather than a side comment
